White Roses Scene 17

 

White Roses as symbol of love 

Perhaps they may never return to your gathering

And no other grief may bring you to tears in solitude

Aneesa woke up and saw that Kashmala was standing in the kitchen making breakfast. Aneesa sits on the chair, closes her eyes and rests her head on the table, as if she is still asleep. Mehwish was busy in cleaning.

"Give me breakfast." Aneesa calls out to Kashmala. At that time, Omar also came.

"Have you ever had breakfast yourself?" Omar taunted her as he dragged the chair. But Aneesa did not say anything in response. Kashmala served breakfast to both of them and went to the room to get Ashir ready for school. She came out with Ashir. Ayan and Khizr had left at the time of Fajr call.

"Ashir had breakfast quickly." Kashmala held him a sandwich.

"Omar, please drop him at school."

"Ok." Omar agreed. Aneesa pointed to Kashmala in her eyes. But Kushmala did not understand.

"Kashmala you also go with Omar. It is good. It will be good. Do you know if Omar forgets the way?"

"I'm not a child who would forget the way." Omar said.

Anisa kicks Kashmala under the table. Kashmala remembered.

"I do this, I just walk with you. Ashir also has to get his school leaving certificate, as we have to shift to Kakul in some days." Kashmala said to Omar. 

"Ok. As you wish."

Everyone had breakfast. When Kashmala went to the room to get the bag, Aneesa followed her. And closed the door and came to her.

"Do you remember what to ask Omar?" Aneesa said in a low tone.

"Yes, yes, I remember. You take care of Rania. I'm going, running late. Omar is waiting."

"And then tell me everything Omar said."

"Yes, sure." Saying this, Kashmala left.

After dropping Ashir at school, they were both coming back. Omar was driving.

"How is Aunt Farhana?" Kashmala initiated the conversation.

"They're all fine." Omar ended the conversation with just saying "all."

"Oh, that's good... and... what will you do next... I mean, the future..."

"I'm thinking of opening a clinic. Hopefully, everything will be good and it will happen soon."

"Yes, InshaAllah," Kashmala replied.

"Yes," Omar responded. Kashmala would sometimes look at Omar, sometimes in front of her.

"Is there something?" Omar sensed that maybe Kashmala wanted to say something.

"No, nothing special," Kashmala replied, and Omar smiled lightly. They both reached home.

"Omar... can I ask something?" Finally, Kashmala gathered the courage to ask. Omar started to get out of the car but stopped.

"Of course, ask away."

"Have you thought about marriage?"

"Mom will think about that." He smiled, but just for a moment.

"Don't you like anyone? "

"When Mom makes the decision, what difference does it make to my liking someone or not?"

"Meaning, is there someone in your life?"

"Maybe... there could be someone... and... maybe not."

"Who is it? Won't you tell me?"

"What's the point of mentioning her name when it's known that she is not mine?" Omar's face showed a hint of sadness.

"Don't say that. Tell me who it is. I'll talk to her. Who knows, maybe I can help you in this matter."

Omar smiled at her remark.

"You can't do anything."

"Well, I know about that one?"

"Yes... very well."

"Who is she? Just tell me the name. I won't share it with anyone."

"Aneesa," Omar said her name, then closed his eyes and rested his head against the seat.

"I had a feeling," Kashmala said happily. "I had a feeling that you love Aneesa. So tell me... when are you going to marry her?"

"Marriage? Who told you that I'm going to marry her?" Omar's response made Kashmala pause.

"Omar... you..." Kashmala couldn't believe it.

"I can't marry her."

"But why, Omar?"

"Mom has already seen a girl for me. I will marry the girl she has chosen for me."

"What? Really? When?"

"I don't think it's necessary to tell you."

"When is the wedding?" Kashmala felt troubled by Aneesa's side.

"This year."

"Did you ever think about Aneesa, what will happen to her?"

"I did. I thought about her. That's why I'm getting married," Omar closed his eyes again.

"Omar..." Kashmala mentioned his name in a pleading tone.

"I can't do anything."

"Please refuse the marriage. Please."

"Why? Why should I do that? I can't do that."

"You know that Aneesa also loves you. How will she manage?"

"I didn't force her to love me," Omar said coldly and opened the car door, stepping outside. Kashmala followed behind him.

"You didn't force her, but you've made her aware of her love for you. Aneesa likes you. You like her. That's it, end of discussion. What's the problem then?"

"Please, Kashmala. I don't want to talk anymore. You'll be hurt."

"You've already hurt me. By involving my sister in your life like this, depriving her of happiness." Kashmala stood facing him. "Talk to me."

"Kashmala... at least I can't afford to displease my parents, go against their decisions, as you have." Omar reproached Kashmala with bitterness.

Kashmala took a deep breath and stepped back. Omar understood her point only when she stood aside, leaving him to ponder the path he had chosen.

"I'm sorry. That wasn't my intention, Kashmala." Omar's tone softened.

"It's okay. It's all right," Kashmala smiled, patting his shoulder, and entered the house. Omar followed behind, his head bowed.

Aneesa was playing with Rania. Kashmala and Omar entered their respective rooms together. Aneesa followed Kashmala into her room, holding Rania's hand.

"Did you talk to Omar?"

"Yes, I did."

"So, what did he say?" Aneesa asked eagerly.

"Take a breath, crazy girl! Let me catch my breath," Kashmala chuckled lightly. She was sitting on the sofa with her head resting on the back as if she were tired. Aneesa was sitting in front of her on the center table.

"Omarrr..." Kashmala stared at the ceiling.

"Yes... tell me... what did he say?" Aneesa asked.

"Omar is fine but..."

"But what?"

"Not for you." Kashmala placed her hand on her.

"Why are you saying that? Did something happen? What did he say? He's not bad, right?"

"Forget him. Let him go." Aneesa shrugged off her hand.

"Is it easy to forget?" Her eyes welled up.

"You were the one who always said you wanted a companion like Ayan. So, Aneesa... he's not Ayan. He can't be Ayan." Kashmala explained to her.

"Then I'll die."

"No one dies without someone. People compromise with circumstances. Everyone learns to live."

"If he marries me, everything will be fine."

"He won't marry you." This time Kashmala's voice was firm.

"But why?" She was also determined.

"That's it. You asked me to find out if he'll marry you or not... Now the answer is clear. He won't marry you. Isn't that right now? Remove this thought from your mind." Aneesa looked at her uncertainly.

"Let it be, Aneesah. It's difficult. I'm not asking you to end your relationship with Omar. Take your time... with Omar... with Mashal... but only as a cousin, understand?" She still wasn't sure.

"And he's a non-mahram. If he is, he is. What can be done? Don't forget your limits. Dreams aren't seen with non-mahram. Do you understand? I know you will understand," Kashmala held her face in both hands.

"Why did he deny it, Kashmala? Am I not good enough?" Aneesa's mind was focused on just one thing.

"I told you, didn't I, that he will prioritize love and relationships above all. He has indeed chosen relationships. But you don't believe it." Kashmala stood firm.

"Kashmala..." Aneesa tried to stop Kashmala.

"He's a man. If anything happens, he'll come out unscathed. All the mess will come upon you. They will save him, those relationships he has saved. And the rest, only you will remain. Your love. Your respect. If you have to choose between the two, choose respect. Hatred from others might be your fate, but what's love without respect? Life passes by without love, but respect? Without respect, a person is nothing. And yes, now pray that you find someone who brings both respect and love to you." Saying this, Kashmala left.

Aneesa got up and went to her room. She locked the door and stood silently for a while with her head bowed. She took off her hanging dupatta and placed it aside. Standing in front of the dressing table, she looked at herself in the mirror. Her eyes and nose were turning red. She touched her face with her hands.

"What was lacking in me?

Ponytail confined, she let her long hair loose. She wanted to cry. 

"Will Omar really leave me? Why did he say that to Kashmala? My love, every moment spent with Omar... Am I not beautiful? Why? Why did Omar do this? He was my only hope. Will he also drift away from me like other relationships?"

Every beautiful moment spent with Omar began to flood back into memory. Those moments when they laughed together. Family gatherings they attended together. Everything changed so quickly. It occurred to her, 'It's just like yesterday'"

Beautiful moments pass, but beautiful memories remain. Why do we cry remembering our golden past? Why does our glorious yesterday force us to cry? She was crying... Omar had rejected her love. Her crying... It wasn't just crying. She sat silently shedding tears.

She turned her neck to the left, where an incomplete painting stood, in its final stages. Rubbing her face against the back of her hand, she moved towards the painting. Brush in hand, she saw the nearby colors that appeared faded. Beautiful colors and faded? She started painting. But she rubbed the brush so vigorously that the canvas got ruined entirely. Then she didn't stop.  Frustrated, she pulled the palette from the ground with force, causing it to scatter, yet it remained intact. Colors splattered everywhere. Sitting on her knees on the ground, she began to cry. Disheveled hair. Reddened face. Teary eyes.

One person, just one person, when he leave her, she felt like everything was over. Everything was lost. If someone tries to explain to her that life doesn't end with the departure of one person, she replies,  

"Come, see, mine has ended."